In this video, I deal with the perhaps unintended or least recognized consequences of obesity and losing weight. That is social and psychological aspects of losing weight or why you may be self-sabotaging yourself from losing weight. Many of us appreciate or utilize our fat as an insulator from the outside world.
Our obesity prevents us from having to deal to with certain situation, like a poor marriage, or gives us an excuse for something we should be doing, such as exercising or being a good parent. Here is a list from Tracy Rose on some potential self-sabotaging reasons
* Worrying how you’ll be accepted at your goal weight.
* Letting fear of life without the fat barrier get the best of you.
* Being afraid of how youll respond when people show they are attracted to you.
* Fear of losing yourself to the new, slim verson of you.
* Fear of failure and fear of success.
* Wish not to deal with jealous friends.
* You wont be able to use fat as an excuse to stay on the sidelines of life anymore.
* You think people will have higher expectation of you after you lose weight.
* You are unhappy and feel undeserving of success.
There are certain ones in that list that I can definitely relate to thinking and that kept me consciously or sub-consciously fat for many years. The quote re: fat as an insulator came from this blog post ( http://www.ladymisstree.com/callipygian/archives/why_i_like_being_fat_2006_01_03.html )
Unfortunately, when we lose the weight, all the above psychological issues don’t immediately disappear either. Sometimes there are real issues underlying these issues that removing the insulator or the excuse forces us to deal with. Some of these are internal to ourselves as we may begin to treat people differently for better or for worse. Weight loss will typically lead to a better self-image of ourselves. Our children however may be unaccustomed to an active parent in their life, or we may become judgemental of our less fit friends unfairly.
Even our most bedrock relationships, our marital partners will likely be affected by our weight loss. Testosterone, a fat soluble hormone, will get released as the fatty acids in the fat cells are consumed. This typically increases the libido (sex drive), and according to studies, weight loss is responsible for a better sex life, better orgasms, and happier marital relations. Significant weight loss in morbidly obese people however also raises the divorce rate over the norm. Here are a few studies:
I think it is pretty conclusive that after weight loss we are seen differently. To some extent that is correct. We aren’t the same person as we just did something AWESOME and life-changing, but to another, we are still the core personality. Dealing with that dichotomy is just reality for those who have finally achieved their weight loss success.